5 Key Concepts for Building A Habit
We’re already at the end of January and this is usually the time of year that we start to lose steam on any New Year’s resolutions we may have made. Or maybe you’ve tried making resolutions in the past and it’s never really worked for you or you know that resolutions aren’t for you, but you’re just not sure where to start on that new habit you want to build or old one you want to change.
This is something that I talk about with people all the time, year-round - if you’re trying to add in physio exercises or lifestyle changes as part of a physiotherapy treatment plan, it’s not always easy to just “do your homework”. I get it. Even though I know exactly what exercises I need to do, (yes, physios need to do physio exercises too!) doesn’t mean it hasn’t taken time and effort to build that habit for myself too.
Here are 5 key concepts to help you build habits and make them stick.
The motivation myth - it’s a common misconception that we somehow need to create motivation, from some elusive place within ourselves, to start a new habit or make “healthy” choices, through sheer willpower alone. In Jeff Haden’s book of the same title (see below), he explains that in fact, we just need to get started. Then, once we start to see or feel the results and reap the benefits of our actions, this is what creates the motivation to keep going. The doing creates the motivation, and not the other way around.
Create identity-based habits - this is a powerful concept that James Clear talks about in his book Atomic Habits (highly recommend). Creating identity-based habits, gives you an anchor to come back to again and again, especially when consistency starts to wane or you’re just starting out. It also allows you to immediately step into the identity of the person you want to be or become right now, instead of waiting months or years down the road when you finally reach a specific goal.
Here is a short exercise to help you build an identity based habit:
Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths, or do a grounding meditation, and then ask yourself these 3 questions.
What type of person do I want to be or become? This is your identity.
Create a short, succinct phrase to claim this identity. “I am” statements work well i.e. “I am a calm person”, “I am able to climb mountains with ease”, “I am able to get up and down off the floor to play with grandkids”, “I am someone who takes care of themselves”, “I am someone who makes exercise a priority”. Try to make it as specific and meaningful as possible.
What habit or habits would a person with this identity, have?
You can name everything that comes to mind, related to your chosen identity
Now choose 1-2 habits from this list, that you would like to work on, or add, or change - and then start here.
Moving forward, anytime you are faced with the choice to follow-through on your habit or not - ask yourself “what would a (insert your identity here) do in this situation?”
Create systems instead of goals - you’ve probably been told before that creating a goal is the way to reach your desired outcome, however, if you set a goal without making a plan, it will be difficult to get there. Or you could be as consistent as possible in working towards a goal, but never actually get there due to a myriad of reasons i.e. your body didn’t respond the way you expected, the timeline you set wasn’t reasonable, or you simply weren’t as consistent as you intended to be because life happens, and then you feel shame, guilt or disappointment for not following through. One of my favourite quotes from James Clear is “we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems” and it couldn’t be truer. Set a goal if you like, but then create your system to get there, make your plan, get attached to the process instead of the outcome and keep your identity in mind.
Habit stacking - this is another concept that James Clear outlines in his book and I have found it very helpful. We have a lot of habits that have become automatic, like brushing our teeth, going to the washroom, or drinking water. So, when you’re trying to add in a new habit, it’s easiest to “stack” the new habit onto an existing one so they become a package deal. For example, “after I brush my teeth, I do 10 heel raises”. You can even go one step further and make sure your environment primes you for doing your new habit - clear away the barriers i.e. if you need to hold a weight in your hand while you do your heel raises, put the weight in the bathroom / beside your toothbrush.
Consistency not perfection - many of us tend to have an all-or-nothing mindset around exercise and other lifestyle habits (myself included!) - feeling like you failed unless you’re absolutely perfect about how much or how often you completed your habit, and then “starting fresh” again each day. Or, not even bothering to get started if you know you’re not going to be perfect that day, for example, you have 3 different physio exercises to do, but you know you don’t have time to do them all before going to bed, so you don’t do any of them, instead of doing just one - one is better than zero!
You may have heard different quotes like "it takes 30 days to build a habit and 60 days to keep it", but James argues that you could be consistent for 60 days and then still miss day 61 for some reason. Your new habit doesn’t somehow magically become bullet proof or permanent at 60 days. If you’re consistent for 60 days, and then day 61 doesn’t happen because you slept in, or your kid is sick, or you’re just not up to it that day, that’s ok - try not to let it completely derail you. You were successful for 60 days and you didn’t throw it all away or erase all those benefits, by missing just one day. Start again the next day and keep going. It takes practice and consistent effort to make small changes and let them accumulate over time. As much as we might like it to be, it’s not a quick fix.
Want to learn more? Here are some of my favourite resources on the topic:
Atomic Habits by James Clear - this entire book is worth the read, however, if that’s not accessible, the following podcast is a great “coles notes” version of the key points in the book
Dare to Lead Podcast: Brene Brown with James Clear Part 1 and Part 2; Nov 15th and 22nd, 2021
The Motivation Myth by Jeff Haden
Mom Strength Podcast Episode #1: How to Get Motivated to Exercise - this is in the context of postpartum return to exercise, but has great tips for any context!